Dear Zyzz, I wrote you but you still ain’t calling
I left my Deca, my protein powder, and my BCAA at the bottom
I sent two bicycle packages back in autumn, you must not-a got ‘em
There probably was a problem with post office or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ‘em
but anyways; f—k it, what’s been up? Man how’s your liftin?
My girlfriend’s squatting too, I’m bout to be a PT
If I have a gym, guess what I’ma call it?
I’ma name it ‘Aesthetics Fitness’
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I’m sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some d-ck who didn’t spot him
I know you probably hear this every day, but I’m your biggest fan
I even got those underground steroids that you did with Wassam
I got a room full of your posters and your memes man
I like the incline fly’s you did with Chestbrah too, that sh-t was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to lift, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Hussein
Dear Zyzz, you still ain’t called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain’t roid raging - I just think it’s F—KED UP you don’t answer fans
If you didn’t want to spot me during the incline
you didn’t have to, but you could of at least spotted a set for Mohammed
That’s my little brother man, he’s only six years old
He waited in the packed gym on monday,
four hours and you just said, “No.”
That’s pretty sh—ty man - you’re like his f—king idol
He wants to be shredded like you bro, he’s mirrin’ you more than I do
I ain’t that mad though, I just don’t like being lied to
Remember when we met at Parra Fitness First - you said if I’d spot you
you would spot me back - see I’m just like you in a way
I never knew about peptides neither;
and always hated being asked ‘do you take steroids brother?’
I can relate to what you’re doing in your poses
so when I have a sh—ty cycle, I rage away and stack another 20kg on
cause I don’t really go to Stereosonic so that sh-t helps when I’m depressed
I even got a protein shaker with your name across the cap
Sometimes I even squat a tonne to see if I can sit on the toilet later on
It’s like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you take is real, and I respect you cause you shredded
My girlfriend’s jealous cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don’t know you like I know you Zyzz, no one does
She don’t know what it was like for skinny c-nts like us growing up
You gotta call me man, I’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever lose
Aesthetically yours, Hussein — P.S.
We should pose together too
this’ll be the last email I ever send your ass
It’s been one day and still no word - I don’t deserve it?
I know you got my last two emails;
I wrote the addresses on ‘em perfect
So this is my email I’m sending you, I hope you read it
I’m in the gym right now, I’m doing 90 on the leg press
Hey Nik$, I drank a fifth of BCAAs, you dare me to squat?
You know the song by Phil Collins, “In the Air of the Night”
about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from bench pressing
but didn’t, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him?
That’s kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from hemroids
Now it’s too late - I’m on a 1000 downers now, I’m drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I rippedd all of your MEMEs off the wall
”Dear Hussien, I meant to write you sooner but I just been lifting
You said your girlfriend squats now, how much is she doing?
Look, I’m really flattered you would call your gym that
and here’s an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the protein shaker container
I’m sorry I didn’t see you at the gym, I musta missed you
Don’t think I did that sh*t intentionally just to diss you
But what’s this sh*t you said about you like to take online bought steroids too?
I say that sh*t just clowning dogg,
c’mon - how juiced up is you?
You got some issues Hussein, I think you need some High Intensity Interval Training
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you take oxyshred
And what’s this sh*t about us meant to be together?
That type of sh*t’ll make me not want to spot each other
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself, by squatting too much
if you relax a little, I’m glad I inspire you, but Huss
why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want to spot you
I just don’t want you to rage like The Hulk
I seen this one sh*t on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and thought he could squat a tonne
and had his girlfriend to watch, she watch him crap himself on the squat rack
and on the bottom of his protein shaker they found a note, but they didn’t say who it was to
Come to think about it, his name was.. it was you..”